Bad at Titles

My wardrobe must be atrocious, then...

30 Aug

Bacon Beer Barley Recipe

Dish can be made by itself or use the marinade from a pork roast (marinade method might taste slightly different, as it will include the blood from the pork and allow time for spices to leech flavor).

1 bottle of Sam Adam’s Cherry Wheat (or favorite beer/hard cider)

½ cup Worcestershire

1 tablespoon salt

1 teaspoon cracked black pepper

1 tablespoon thyme

6 slices bacon, finely chopped

½ red onion, chopped

1 cup barley

1 glass of water, in case you need extra liquid

  1. Mix up the beer, worcestershire, and seasonings like they some phat beats. Let set.

  2. Whip out yo pan, grease it (bacon grease is best, but if butter is all you have, roll with it), get that bitch hot over medium heat.

  3. Fry dat chopped bacon until it’s getting close to crispy. Throw dem onions in like a body in a shallow grave, get ‘em all transparent and caramelized (browned). The bacon should have finished cooking by now.

  4. Pour the beer mixture in, scrapping the bottom of the pan like rent is due (Gordon fucking Ramsey would call this deglazing, gets all the tasty bits up from the frying). Let it all come to a delicious simmer.

  5. Toss in that barley like a hail mary pass, stir it around, reduce heat a tick or two and cover it. Then walk away and let it think about what it’s done for about 8-10 minutes.

  6. Come back and stir it up like some hot drama – making sure none of the barley has stuck to the bottom of your pan – and try a piece. If it’s still crunchy and kind of hard but the liquid is all gone, pour in some of that back-up water from your posse to finish the job for another 8-10 minutes (just enough to cover it). If it’s soft but not mushy and there’s no liquid left, then congratulations you did a good fuckin’ job.

  7. Serve that shit up and smash it like it owes you money.

08 May

After their second year in my hands from seed, the foxglove comes out with a vengeance! The lettuce is rolling out, the carrots are ready for a second culling to make sure those roots have plenty of space to get nice and big, the peas are light years ahead of where their brothers were last year, and the strawberries have not only made a comeback but were mysteriously able to jump into the pot my solitary chive plant had been left in after I’d nursed it all last year as the lone sprout and cut it down to nothing just before winter so I could eat it then surprised me by pulling a Jebus so hard it FLOWERED.

I think I can now officially blame the crap weather last year for my initial failures.

Unfortunately, my lupines (not pictured) have yet to show any signs of sending up flower spikes.  They’re leafing and happy and thick as thieves, but not flowering.  The zone here in Kentucky is about the southern limit lupine likes to grow in (Maine, the Rockies, and the Andes are it’s home) so they may never be happy enough to flower, but I have to keep trying for Miss Rumphius (somehow no one remembers that book, let alone how much I loved it, except for me)